Whoever said being pregnant was a beautiful thing… well, I don't think they experienced the first trimester. A perfume I would have loved before now makes me sick. I am starting to fell less like a lady. The constant gas that now makes Kevin proud of me and the multiple trips to the bathroom is starting to get on my nerves. And the physical changes are starting to make me feel like a completely different person.
Like today… I am really moving slow. I am so out of shape. I am beat after working last night. I didn't even get up early enough to take a shower. I'm also exhausted after doing a show. When I got home from the theater today all I wanted to do was curl up in my bed and sleep. For the first time I am having issues with working multiple jobs. Not to mention that my stomach is not being my best friend right now.
Not only am I starting to have physical changes but I am mentally starting to worry about things. For one, I have been avoiding doing anything physical in hopes of not causing a miscarriage. Everything I do, I think “Will this make me lose it?” I know it's not healthy. I'm only focusing on myself. Mistakes that I should be able t correct are happening on stage with the girls. So now I worry about my ability to do my job and the effect this pregnancy is having on my performances.
I know these physical and emotional changes are part of it… I just hope I can regain some sort of who I am (physically and mentally). And for the changes that will take over, I just pray I have the strength to be ok with them.
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